Teens & Technology

I have written to parents in the past about teens and technology. However, I was recently reminded about the subject and thought it important enough to address again.

Technology is everywhere. Every aspect of our lives is touched in some way by technology. Whether it be cell phones, Ipads, ATM machines, portable DVD players (and the list could go on), we can't seem to get away from it!

Unfortunately, parents many times "assume" that teenagers know how to use this technology. Now, while teenagers know how to use technology they really don't know how to use it! Hopefully the following thoughts will help you understand what I mean.

1. As a parent, take the time to acquaint yourself with all the technology that your children and teenagers use. (I understand that this can be an intimidating task but it is important!)

2. As a parent, teach your children how to use technology. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "Whether therfore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." Teenagers need to be taught to use technology in the right way - a way which glorifies the Lord!

3. As a parent, you must "inspect what you expect." Now, although this will take effort on your part as a parent and although it may not be pleasantly received by your children and teenagers, it is a very necessary step. If you've taken the time to understand the technology yourself, and you've taken the time to teach them how to use the technology, then take the time to make sure they are using the technology in the proper way. Proverbs 29:15b says, "...a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."

4. If, after following these first 3 points you find that your children/teenagers are not using technology properly, please don't have a "knee-jerk" reaction and simply take the technology away. Go back to steps 1-3 and ask yourself, "Do I understand how this technology works and what it has the ability to do?" "Have I instructed them in the proper use of this technology?" "Have I been holding them accountable for how they've been using this technology?" It may be necessary for you to have your children take a break from the technology for awhile but be sure that it includes plenty of Biblical instruction.

"All Scripture is given is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine (what is right), for reproof (what is wrong), for correction (how to get right), for instruction in righteousness (how to stay right): that the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works." (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

Computers began to become household items when I was a young teenager. My father bought our first computer when I was 12. I was intrigued with computers and began to teach myself how to use them. I learned that I could hook a telephone line up to a modem, type in a phone number, and visit "bulletin boards." (Remember, this was in the days before the internet and "unlimited" calling plans.) The online shopping mall that I visited was in California. While I did not get in trouble because of what I was viewing online, the phone call itself cost a lot of money. My parents hit the roof when the $800 phone bill arrived in the mail. Not that I'm blaming my parents, but had they taken the time to find out what that computer could do, then instruct me on how to correctly use that new technology, and then check up on me, they could have saved me a lot of "weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth" and saved themselves some money!

My son...

"My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother." Proverbs 1:8

In his commentary on Proverbs entitled, Godly Advice for Young Adults, Dr. David Sorenson says, "It is...incumbent upon parents to instill discipline, obedience, and the principle of righteousness in their children at the earliest age."

Connecting to An Online Generation, Part 1

Proverbs 23:26 “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.”

Teenagers are growing up in the most “connected” generation ever. Due to the information age where they have grown up, teenagers can connect with whomever they want, whenever they want. However, many of these same teenagers feel more “disconnected” from their parents and other loving adults than any other other generation before them. Sure, these teenagers live under the same roof with their parents, eat breakfast at the same table, watch TV in the same room, and even ride in the same vehicle; but that’s not the type of connection I am talking about. I am talking about the type of connection that Solomon was referring to when he said, “My son, give me thine heart…” I am talking about a connection that goes beyond the physical connection of living in the same family to that connection that binds the heart of a parent with the heart of their teenager. I am talking about the type of connection that so many parents and teenagers desire to have with one another yet so few actually do.

Over the past decade and a half of ministering to teenagers I have seen, as a whole, parents and teenagers drifting further apart. I have read books that deal with this issue. I have preached messages that have dealt with this issue. I have taught lessons that have dealt with this issue. Yet, as the years go by, the real heart connection between parents and their children has continued to deteriorate. Although they have not said it verbally, I have seen the questions in the eyes of parents and teenagers alike, “Why is this happening? What can be done to stop it?” Over the next several issues of this newsletter, I want to tackle the subject of connecting - really connecting at the heart - with your children. I want to encourage you to prayerfully read these articles and ask yourself the question, “Am I really connected with my children? What can I do to make the heart connection with my children stronger?”

In order to begin the process of really connecting, on a heart level, with your teenager, you must first seek to understand them. Have you ever made this statement in reference to your teenager, “I just don’t understand teenagers these days!” Or have you ever asked this question about your teenager, “What were they thinking?” Part of this feeling is due to the infamous “generational gap.” However, it is a valid point that in order to understand your teenagers, you need to understand that world in which they have grown up is different from the world in which you grew up.

Each year, two professors at Benoit College in Benoit, Wisconsin put together a “Mindset List.” They have been putting this list together for the past 11 years and it is designed to help the college faculty and staff understand the incoming class of freshman students. This list identifies those experiences which have helped shape the lives, mindset, and worldview of the incoming freshman. I want to include a few of the items from this past year’s list for the 2008 incoming class of freshman. You must realize that this list was compiled for a secular university that is not interested in Biblically training these young people. But, as you read this list, stop and consider how different of a world in which your children have grown up from the world in which you grew up. (If you would like to see the entire list, you may visit www.Beloit.edu/mindset.)

Mindset List for the Class of 2012
1. Gas stations have never fixed flats, but most serve cappuccino.
2. WWW has never stood for World Wide Wrestling.
3. Films have never been X rated, only NC-17.
4. IBM has never made typewriters.
5. The Tonight Show has always been hosted by Jay Leno and started at 11:35 EST.
6. Caller ID has always been available on phones.
7. Soft drink refills have always been free.
8. Windows 3.0 operating system made IBM PCs user-friendly the year they were born.
9. 98.6 F or otherwise has always been confirmed in the ear.

Although this list may make you feel a little “old,” it serves to illustrate the fact that your teenagers have grown up in a world that is vastly different from the world in which you grew up. You must keep that thought in mind as you seek to “connect” with them. The next time you need to “confront” your teenager, keep in mind the command found in James 1:19, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” Before demanding that they understand your point of view, seek to understand where they are coming from. That attitude will serve to help you truly connect with your teenagers.